


Could it be that we were under The impression life was perfect? And when the bubble burst We understood that every part of it hurts.

by WhatWouldRiverDo



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-18
Updated: 2014-03-18
Packaged: 2018-01-16 03:47:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1330780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatWouldRiverDo/pseuds/WhatWouldRiverDo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She breathed in the scent of him on his pillow, while she soaked it with her tears. Was he mad at her? Was he mad at Amy? At Rory? Himself? River needed to pull herself together and comfort him; she could not sit here and wallow in her sorrow. The Doctor needed her and she had to be able to take care of him without falling apart mentally. And without tearing their marriage apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Could it be that we were under The impression life was perfect? And when the bubble burst We understood that every part of it hurts.

**Author's Note:**

> A post-Manhattan coping fic. This is the longest thing I have ever written and I'm actually proud so, please be gentle.

River sat on the edge of her and the Doctor’s bed, crying. She just witnessed her parents’ death and the Doctor had just gone back for the Afterward. She cried and cried, and lit cigarette after cigarette until she had smoked nearly a whole pack. Then, she heard footsteps walk in the room behind her. Quickly, she whipped her head around and tried to hide the fact that she had been crying.

“H-hello, S-sweetie…” She mumbled with a cigarette in her mouth and forced a smile. The Doctor walked over to her and pulled the cigarette out of her mouth. He placed it between his index finger and thumb, and took a huff. River stood up next to him and looked at him sadly; she placed her hands on his chest and laid her head against his sternum to listen to his hearts beat. The Doctor looked down at her and sighed, but he didn’t wrap his arms around her like he normally would. Instead he just took another drag of her cigarette, put it back in her mouth and walked away. 

“Sweetie…” River called after him, weakly, and put the cigarette out in the ash tray on her bedside table. -He stopped in the doorway and took a deep breath, then walked out of the room. River’s eyes filled with tears again and she went back to the bed, lying on his side of the bed. She breathed in the scent of him on his pillow, while she soaked it with her tears. Was he mad at her? Was he mad at Amy? At Rory? Himself? 

River needed to pull herself together and comfort him; she could not sit here and wallow in her sorrow. The Doctor needed her and she had to be able to take care of him without falling apart mentally. And without tearing their marriage apart. She sat up and went to the bathroom in their bedroom. She wiped off the smeared makeup off her face, and then put some more on. She changed out of her black dress into a comfortable pair of jeans and a black v-neck t-shirt that showed the appropriate amount of cleavage for the situation. River fluffed up her hair and put on her brave face. Then she went off in search of her grieving husband.

“Doctor.” She called into the console room, and she heard him grunt in reply from underneath of the console. River descended down the stairs and found him with goggles on, working on some wires. 

“Sweetie, you’re going to work on her until she doesn’t work anymore.” River told him, trying to tease lightly, but it sounded more like she was aggravated with him than anything. The Doctor didn’t pay her any mind though. River sighed and walked over to him, placing her hand on his arm. He jerked away without looking at her and walked up the stairs.

“Doctor, talk to me!” She demanded and put her hands on her hips angrily. The Doctor clenched his jaw and turned around quickly, he marched over to her angrily. 

“Okay, you want me to talk. I’ll talk,” He spat. “Your parents are dead, I’m depressed… and you’re still here.”  
His words cut through River like a knife and she raised her hand, bringing it down sharply on his right cheek. The Doctor growled and rubbed his cheek with his hand. His face turned red, not from her hand though.

“Don’t talk to me like that. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m all you have left. Okay? It’s only you and me now, Doctor. I’m sure in a few months a young woman with prance into your life and you’ll have forgotten about me, but for now it’s just me.” River disclosed, surprisingly calm. The Doctor closed his eyes and sighed.

“I’d rather be on my own.” He grumbled and walked away again.

“Fine. I’ll leave. Don’t expect me to come back.” She hissed after him. He stopped for a second and sighed. He didn’t really want her to leave, but he did want her to leave him alone for a little while so he could gather himself and process what just happened. River stared at him and waited for him to come back to her, to apologize, to hold her and make the hurt go away. But he didn’t, so she left. 

She went to the only place she knew other than the TARDIS, to Jack. 

River showed up at his doorstep soaking wet, due to the storm outside, and bawling her eyes out. Jack took her into his arms and brought her into his house quickly. He sat her down on the sofa and went to grab a towel for her, along with one of his t-shirts. When he came back River was lying down and shaking violently. 

“River, baby, c’mere.” Jack cooed and helped her sit up. He wrapped the towel around her and held her tightly in his arms. After she had calmed down he let her go into his bathroom and clean herself up. 

River looked at herself in the mirror and just about collapsed on the floor. How had this happened? One second she had the world by the balls, the next she was falling apart at the seams at her best friend’s house. How did she let this happen? She was River Song. Melody Pond. The first thing she was told when she was born was to be brave. What happened?  
The Doctor happened. He always happened. Every time River had her life under control he showed up and she found herself mesmerized by him and everything she had worked for suddenly didn’t matter, and then when she returned to her everyday life it was out of her hands. Sometimes she felt like he was a drug she couldn’t, or wouldn’t quit. They would fight and one of them would leave, swearing to never come back, but within a week they were back in each other’s arms. 

This time was different. This time she didn’t think he wanted her to come back. 

She was interrupted from her thoughts by a knock at the door. “River…” Jack mumbled from the other side of the door.

“Y-yeah..?” She muttered, in reply. 

“Just making sure you’re okay.” He said. River smiled to herself slightly. 

“Yeah. I’m okay.” She affirmed, “I’ll be out in a moment.” 

“Take your time.” Jack assured her.

Five minutes later, River emerged from the bathroom, in Jack’s t-shirt. She went into the family room and sat next to Jack.  
“I’m ready to talk…” She nodded.

~*~*~  
It had been five weeks since he last spoke to River, and it was starting to bother him. He was worried about her. She had never been gone this long without at least sending him a note saying she was okay.

"Where is she?” The Doctor grumbled to himself as he sat in the console room, massaging his temples nervously. This wasn’t like her; she always came back, even when she said she would. Maybe that was their problem. He expected her to come crawling back to him every time he yelled in her face. Every time he made her feel like nothing, so he would feel better. He was such a conceded bastard who couldn’t see past his own pain to be the husband River needed, and be the friend others needed. He was just so caught up in being the Doctor that he didn’t care who he hurt because he just assumed they’d forgive him and come back.

Rory had mentioned it to him once. “You know what it's dangerous about you? It's not that you make people take risks, it's that you make them want to impress you. You make it so they don't want to let you down. You have no idea how dangerous you make people to themselves when you're around.” He'd said

The Doctor knew what he had to do. He had to fix it. Everything he had done to hurt River. It was too late to fix Amy and Rory, but he had better fix River before it was too late.

~*~*~  
The Doctor knocked quietly on Jack’s door and rocked on the balls of his feet, waiting nervously for him to open the door. When the door opened he was shocked to see River’s face. 

“Hello.” He smirked, nervously. River shut the door in his face and leaned against it heavily. Jack came over to her and told her to go sit down, he’d handle it.

“What are you doing here?” Jack snapped when he opened the door.

“I’m here to see my wife.” The Doctor responded, calmly.

“She doesn’t want to see you.” Jack told him. The Doctor sighed and closed his eyes, then started to leave. River stood up and ran over to the door, she knew she was about to make a big mistake, but what could she do? He was a drug she couldn’t quit.

“Wait.” She pleaded and grabbed his wrist. The Doctor turned around stood on the third, and bottom step, of Jack’s porch. 

“Jack will you give us a minute?” She asked Jack, and he looked between the two of them before nodding hesitantly. Once he was inside River turned to the Doctor.

“Why are you here?” River questioned, flatly. 

“I need you.” The Doctor answered sincerely. River crossed her arms, unimpressed.

“Really? So you’re all better now?” She sneered. “Everything’s fine. Life is just hunky dory and perfect!” She turned to go back inside but was stopped by his words.

“No, River. It’s not. That’s why I need you. You were right. You are all I have left.” He sighed and took a step closer to her. She peeked at him over her shoulder, but refused to turn around. 

“River, my love. Please, come back.” The Doctor begged. That’s when she turned around.

“Who’s to say you won’t do this again?” River questioned. The Doctor took her hands and looked up at her sincerely.

“I promise I’ll change. Cross my hearts and hope to die.” He promised and kissed her palms. River’s eyes filled with tears and she threw herself into his arms.

“You stupid, sentimental idiot.” She laughed and kissed him fiercely. She knew this would happen again, he would be different for a few months, but then he’d go back to his old ways. River didn’t care though, she was in his arms at the moment, and nothing else mattered to her.

They spent the rest of the day with Jack, then that night, the Doctor brought River back to the TARDIS.  
The minute the door was closed he had her pressed against it and his lips were on hers. His hands were on her hips and her hands were buried in his hair. When the burn in their lungs became too much The Doctor broke the kiss and kissed down her neck. 

“God, I’ve missed you.” River panted and scratched his scalp lightly. The Doctor started unbuttoning her shirt and kissed each inch of newly exposed skin.

“River, I’m sorry.” He whispered against her chest and pushed her shirt off once all of the buttons were undone. As soon as he had it off he noticed how thin she’d become since the last time he saw. “River…” He whispered and gently ran his fingers along her exposed ribs, as if she’s break under his touch. River turned her face away from him and closed her eyes.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She muttered under her breath. The Doctor kissed both of her ribs and nodded. 

“Okay.” He sighed and returned to his earlier ministrations, sucking her nipple into his mouth and used is hand to pinch and squeeze her other breast. He kept switching from breast to breast until she was keening above him. 

“Sweetie! God, please.” She whimpered and pulled him up to her mouth. They kissed with everything they had. All of the passion and anger and love they had built up over the past weeks was poured out into that kissed. While they were kissing River made quick work of removing his shirt and trousers. 

“Desperate much, honey?” He teased and pulled her sweatpants off. River grunted and rolled her eyes.  
“There’s only so much satisfaction one can get form her own fingers.” She purred and stroked him through the front of his boxers. He moaned and hoisted her into his arms, carrying her to their bedroom.

The Doctor dropped her on the bed and pulled her, by her legs, to the end of the bed. He pulled her knickers off and hummed as the smell of her arousal hit his nose. 

“Mm. So wet for me, baby.” He whispered and darted his tongue out and pressed it against her clit, receiving a wail from River. The Doctor sucked and nipped at her clit for a few minutes then slid two fingers inside her. River screamed at the feeling and buried her hands into his hair and tugged roughly. 

“God, yes! Doctor, please! More!” She cried out. He started a slow rhythm, but as River grew impatient he sped up. River’s orgasm hit her suddenly and hard. The Doctor moved up her body and soothed her. He held her until she had calmed down. 

“Are you ready?” He whispered and when she nodded he removed his boxers and lined up with her entrance. Slowly, he pushed into her. He always watched her face when he first slid in, just to make sure she was okay. When he saw she was he leaned down and kissed her roughly. 

“Sweetie, move.” River moaned. He nodded and started to move, slowly at first but gradually speeding up. 

“Oh, River!” He exclaimed and hooked her leg around his shoulder to thrust deeper. The sound of their skin clapping together and their moans filled the room. River felt the pressure build again until she was screaming his name over and over again. The Doctor followed shortly behind her, pouring into her. The Doctor slid out and rolled over beside her. River snuggled into his side and kissed his shoulder.

“I love you. Please, stay.” The Doctor whispered into her hair. 

“Of course I’ll stay.” She whispered and sat up to look at him. “And I love you too.” She smiled.  
The Doctor kissed her tenderly then laid back down, so did River. She fell asleep a few moments later. The Doctor stayed up and watched her sleeping. He promised her he’d change.  
But could he really?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! Con- Crit is greatly appreciated!   
> Title from the song "Sad Song." by Lenka.  
>  
> 
> (P.S. I can't finish How Do I Live Without You. I just can't go anywhere else with it. Sorry.)


End file.
